Never Gonna Give You Up
by puddles2010
Summary: This is set during New Moon. It is meant for Jacob fans, but Edward fans dont' worry! Edward will be coming in very soon! Worth the read! I promise!
1. Chapter 1

I thought my life was over. I thought after all I've been through, after all the pain, suffering, and loss, that I would never be able to pick up the pieces of me life and become me again. I viewed my heart as a mirror that had a crack down the middle. No, not even that. A mirror that had been shattered into a million pieces. Damaged beyond repair.

But then he came into my life again. He has somehow managed to pick up the pieces and put me back together again. Not completely restored, the cracks are still visible, but enough to make life seem alittle less hopeless. He gave me something to wake up in the morning for. I owe him so much. Who knows what would have been left of me if he didn't come back into my life?  
"Bella! Snap out of it!" Jacob said as he nudged me with his shoulder.  
I had dozed off again. Jacob had decided to give me a 5 a.m wake up call. When I asked him where we were going all he would say is "You'll see when we get there!" He may be my soulmate but he is pushing it.  
"Jacob, couldn't we have done this at a different time? Maybe when the people are actually awake!" I mumbled as I nuzzled my head into the seat. It was hard to get comfortable in a car. I silently cursed the maker of it.  
"For your information, half of the world is awake, and it has to be now. Just a couple more minutes..." He has had an insanely big smile on his face ever since he crawled through my window. Even though I was tired and annoyed, I couldn't help but feel good that he was so happy. When he smiled it makes me feel better. Like no matter what, things will always get better.  
Five minutes later we came to at the edge of the woods. There was no trail that I could see. I was definitely not in the hiking mood. "Jacob, no!"  
"Just trust me. Come on, Bells! It will be fun! You need alittle adventure in your life!" Jacob said as he started to shake my arm to wake me up.  
"Adventure? Is that a joke? Being hunted by vampires isn't adventurous enough for you?!"  
"Come on! Just come with me and it will be worth it! I promise!'

"Fine." I mumbled under my breath. Jacob pulled over on the side of the road. There was nothing special here that i could see. Just a road surrounded by woods. What was so special and adventurous about this? "Jacob where are we?"

"We are about half a mile from the most beautiful thing you will ever see." In my mind the first thing I thought was Edward and I could feel my heart rate start to pick up. But then just as soon as I thought it, I realized that Jacob would never refer to Edward as beautiful, so there must be the second most beautiful thing I've ever seen half a mile away from me.

"Don't tell me we're going to have to hike Jake!" That was the last thing I wanted to do right now. The next thing I know Jacob was opening my door. I hadn't even heard his car door shut! I had forgotten how fast he can be now that he has found his...let's call it his 'wild side'.

He pulled me up out of the car. "I promise Bella, you don't have to hike." I looked at his face skeptically. He smiled like he was laughing at an inside joke. All of a sudden I was looking at the ground upside down. Jacob had flung me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Then the running started. We were only running for about twenty seconds when we stopped. I guess half a mile is alot shorter when your a werewolf.

Jacob set me down gently and I scowled at him like a little kid. "Oh Bella! It was the only way to get you here in time! Now look!" He pointed out to the sky. I turned around and discovered where he had brought me. We were on the edge of a cliff looking out onto the most beautiful sunrise I've ever seen. It was breathtaking. Jacob wrapped his arms around my waist from behind me. "Jacob," I whispered. "It's perfect."  
"I knew you would like it. That's why I chose to do it here, in the most beautiful setting." He let go of me and turned me around to face him. He was really serious all of a sudden. Almost nervous. Then he started to lower onto one knee. Alot of things happened at once. Breathing became much harder. I could feel my brain overloading from the panic that I was feeling. I broke out in a cold sweat, and one thought passed through my mind. "What about Edward?"

"Isabella Swan, will you marry me?"


	2. Chapter 2

On the outside, I'm sure it looked like my mind had shut down, but on the inside was a totally different story. It's like there were two different people in my mind debating on the answer.

'How can he be asking me this?! This isn't happening. Maybe this is all just a bad dream that i will wake up from and everything will be back to normal. I can't marry him. I just can't! It's not that I don't love him, I do. He's so wonderful. He's my soulmate for crying out loud...but I just...can't.'

'He's my soulmate. All the more reason to say yes. I know that I'm holding onto something that I can't have and that is what's preventing me from saying yes. The truth is _he's_ never coming back. He left me. As much as that hurts, I'm going to finally have to come to terms with it.'

'But he could come back. We had something so special...so rare, he has to feel it too. He loved me, I know he did.'

'He did love me, but then it changed for him. With Jacob I feel like life is worth living. With him, I can learn to be happy again. Who knows, one day, I might not feel like there a whole in my heart. Maybe Jacob could be the one to fill it.'

'But he's not Edward.'

'He'll never be Edward.'

"Jacob...I...I...I think we should wait to do this. I love you, but I'm not ready to take that step. Maybe someday, but not now. It's too soon." I tried to say it as calmly as possible. I'm not sure how long it took me to respond. It could have been a minute, it could have been ten, but I finally came to a decision.

Jacob let his disappointment slip only for a second, then he put on a half hearted smile and said as he stood up, "That's alright Bells. I thought maybe it was too soon, but I just felt like the moment was right. But hey! You said someday!"

"Your impossible to discourage." I said as i playfully hit him on the shoulder.

"Yep. Just as stubborn as you. Which is why we are so good together. So...you ready to head back." he asked.

In all honesty. The place was beautiful, but after what had happened I didn't want to stick around for Jacob to get inspired and ask another question.

On the drive home I didn't sleep a wink. I was too worked up over my last panic attack to fall asleep. Jacob and me played games like 20 questions and slug bug. When we pulled onto my road Jacob stiffened up at once. I had seen this happen before, but only when..._they _were here. There goes my heart rate again. Jacob stopped the car completely.

"Jacob. Who's here?" I asked very slowly and quietly. I was terrified and nervous at the same time. The possibility of the Cullens returning crossed my mind but then i thought a greater possibility was Victoria. She was still looking for me. She could be at my house! With Charlie!

Jacob had his teeth bared down, grinding them and he hissed, "Cullen."

My heart stopped for a moment. He's back. No no. It might not be him, it could be Alice, or Esme. I had to see who was there. I had to.

I grabbed the door handle, but right as my fingers touched it Jacob seized my other had. "Bella, don't go." His eyes were pleading, but his voice was low and dangerous.

"Forgive me Jacob." I shook my hand from his grip and ran to my house. I needed to know who it was. I turned into my driveway and saw my visitor. I stopped running and stood their in shock.

"Hello Bella." Edward said in his velvety voice.


	3. Chapter 3

Surely I was dreaming. This was just another horrible dream where I had to relive the same pain over and over, but it was also a wonderful dream because I get to see _him_ again. It was bittersweet. I was wonderfully cursed to live the same thing repeatedly.

But this time it was different. I felt like I had control of this dream. Not like my normal dreams that seemed like everything was prewritten, but like I could decide how to change it this time. I could make it however I wanted. I could scream at him about how badly he hurt me, or just grab his face and kiss him. I was torn between the two. I slowly walked toward my dream Edward. He was exactly how I remember him but somehow even more perfect than before. Could you really improve perfection? His eyes were the same wonderful topaz I remember them to be. I reached out slowly and touched his face. He leaned in slightly and closed his eyes. I whispered to myself, "This isn't real, but I'm going to make the most of it."

I reached around his head and grabbed a hold of his hair and pushed his face into mine for a kiss. His arms wrapped around my waist loosely and I pressed my body completely against his. Our lips molded together perfectly, like they used to. His icey cold body sent shivers down my spine but I wouldn't dare release. I knew any moment the dream would end and I would go back to a world without him. I pressed my lips harder against his and his arms slightly tightened. We finally had to separate so I could breathe.

"Bella, I'm so sorry I left. I was being foolish. I thought that by leaving you you would be safe from my world. But I couldn't stand to stay away. Every moment was filled with only thoughts of you. I had to come just to see you, to make sure you were alright. I came here and you weren't in your room and I got worried. I've just been pacing in front of your window since 6 am!" All his words came out in a rush. This dream was better than I had ever hoped. He was saying everything I would want him to say, only better.

"I wish I could keep you..." I muttered as I traced his face with my hand.

"Bella, I don't think you understand. You can keep me. I'm back. I'm not leaving you again. Never." He grabbed my face and made me lock eyes with him. "Don't you understand Bella? I cant leave you. Your my world. Without you exsistence is meaningless. I can't survive without you."

Now this dream was starting to make me sad. It was so perfect but I knew that right when I wake up I'm going to have the same whole in my chest that I had before and it is going to hurt even worse now that I let myself think of him. I wondered if it was worth it. I better stop now. I had already gone too far by kissing him. If I listen to what he's saying it will only hurt worse when I wake up and realize that he was never there and he never said those things because they aren't true for him anymore. I was setting myself up for another breakdown. I can't do that again.

"This is just a dream, this is just a dream. He isn't real. Don't let yourself hope." I said to myself. I turned away from him and held my hands on my head. "Wake up. Wake up."

"Bella!" He grabbed my shoulders and spun me around to look at him. "Bella you are not dreaming. I am real. I came back. Look at me!" He lifted my chin up. "Why wont you believe me?"

Tears started to fall down my cheeks. "Because Edward doesn't love me! He realized that I was just an ordinary human and left! I'm not good enough for him! I never was! He left and he's never coming back!" I pushed his hand away and started to run into the house. Edward beat me there and blocked the entry way. He grabbed my face with both hands.

"Bella I love you. I love you so much that I left you to keep you safe. I left even though everything inside of me was screaming at me to stay. The only reason I had the strength to leave was because I believed that it was what's best for you. It was the only way I could put aside my own selfish reasons for staying. I know I lost your trust, but I will spend the rest of my exsistence trying to gain it back. I will never leave your side again. ...Unless..you want me too. And I would completely understand. If I hurt you too much and you can't take me back... I would accept that and you'll never hear from me again. I promise. Just tell me. Am I too late? Have I hurt you too badly?"

I looked into his eyes and suddenly realized, this was Edward. He had come back. So many emotions were running through my mind at once. I started to get dizzy. Then everything went black.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Author's Note!**_

Sorry to my 3 loyal readers for being very slow with the update. What with prom, babysitting, and finals I haven't had time to write. I'll try to get the next one done soon. Thanks and remember to review! Comment, Rate, And Appreciate!

--

"Bella"

I could hear my name being called from far away, then it got closer and louder until i was forced to open my eyes. I saw an angel just inches away from my face. He looked so scared. Angels weren't supposed to be scared. They were peaceful and content. This was no angel. This was Edward.

"Edward?" I barely whispered.

"Bella! Yes! I'm here! I was so worried. You were out for a few minutes. How do you feel?" His eyes were searching my face the whole time he spoke. He was so worried. I didn't know why.

"I'm fine. I've been through worse." As I said that I regreted it because I saw a flash of pain go across his face.  
"Your so thin... It looks like you haven't eaten in days."

"Yea, food hasn't really been exactly appealing to me lately." I started to get up. I realized I was in my bedroom. I walked over to my dresser with my cd collection. I had gotten into the habit of burning mix cd's of songs that resembled how I felt. I could barely explain how I felt myself and it amazed me how a complete stranger could describe it so well. Most of my more recent ones had been rather depressing.

"I'm glad your feeling ok. I'm sorry that I surprised you like that. I know I shouldn't have. I just needed to see you. I couldn't stand being away for any longer." I could tell that he was about to go into his long explaination again.

"Why did you leave?"

"...I told you. I thought it was what was best for you. To keep you from-"

"You thought it was best for me to break my heart and leave me in the woods alone? You thought it was best for me to leave me here with a pack of werewolves? You thought it was best for me to leave me alone for Victoria to come after me? Do you really hate me that much?" My voice cracked on the last sentence.

"Bella, no! It was never about hating you. I wanted you to be safe. I thought i was saving you from all those things when I left but I guess by leaving I just left you defenseless. I underestimated your ability to attract the most supernatural and dangerous things in the world." He was so sincere when he spoke, but I couldn't help doubting him.

"That may be the reason you left, but it's not the only reason. There has to be some part of you that doesn't want to be with me. You were so sure of yourself when you left me. We weren't meant to be together. I always knew that. I also always knew that you deserved better. Your perfectly perfect. I'm horribly imperfect. You deserve someone flawless who can be with you forever." I was crying silent tears the whole time I was saying this.

"Bella, you are the only one for me. I love you more than you will ever know. I have never once thought about another woman the way I think about. I love you just the way you are, imperfections and all. I want you, forever." He grabbed ahold of my hands while he said this.

"But you left once. You could leave again."  
"Bella, just tell me if you want me here still. If you do, I'll be by your side til the end of your days. If not, I'll leave and you'll never here from me again. This time I promise to keep up my end."

"...I love you Edward...but I don't want to get hurt again. I don't want you to leave, but I can't be with you. I just pulled myself back together. If I break again I won't be able to keep going. I think I just need to get used to you being here, then later we can talk about maybe being together again."

"That's respectable. I know I've hurt you and by doing that you have built some walls against me. I'm sorry for that. I'll spend the rest of my exsistence making it up to you."

"We'll see, but for now, let's just stick to being friends." I held out my hand.

"Friends." He said as he grabbed my hand in agreement.

--

A/N

I always thought Bella needed to stick up for herself better! Show some anger girl! But I made her turn down both guys so I can have some fun with a nice love triangle! Man do I love a good love triangle! They both have an equal chance! Who will she end up with? The vampire who is her true love and who she now has trust issues against? Or the werewolf who is her soulmate and bestfriend, but can he be more than that? Who knows? I sure don't!


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